Buffy The Vampire Slayer, “Bad Eggs" Review (2x12)

Brief Synopsis: “The students are given eggs to look after to teach them about the responsibilities of parenthood. Between trying to protect her egg and dealing with the vampire brothers, Lyle and Tector Gorch, Buffy doesn't notice that her egg is about to hatch.”

"Ted" (2x11) quick link here                                                                                                                               "Surprise" (2x13) quick link here


Two quick notes before we get started...

1)    I will be reviewing the episodes in bullet point form. This is because it makes the reviews simple to read, and helps break up the text.
2)    If you are watching the show for the first time along with these reviews, please be warned that there may be a few spoilers for things that haven’t happened yet.

With that being said, let’s get started, shall we?



•    This episode is one of the weakest that season two has to offer. While it doesn’t quite reach the depths of the penis-looking demon, Machida, in “Reptile Boy”, it’s not a great deal better than it. I hold this episode in the same regard as “Inca Mummy Girl”, in that it’s not that good, but it does manage to hold my attention for the most part and has some moments that make this episode rewatchable. This episode is rare in that it has two different villains that run in tandem. The first villains are the Gorch brothers, Lyle and Tector. In essence, they’re two redneck vampires from Texas. The second is a mother Bezoar and all of her little babies, which might be the creepiest demons that we’ve come across thus far.
•    I enjoy the Gorch brothers as comedic villains. At least I hope they’re supposed to be comedic...I’m glad that they decided to bring Lyle Gorch back for season three’s “Homecoming”. Mostly because he’s scared away by Cordelia. I do appreciate the bait and switch in this episode. We’re led to believe that the Gorch brothers are going to be the villains of the episode, but they turn out to just be an added distraction.
•    Joyce: “Honestly, don’t you ever think about anything besides boys and clothes?”
     Buffy: “Saving the world from vampires?”

That line has bugged me for YEARS. Not when this episode aired however, but after “Normal Again”. In “Normal Again”, Buffy states that her parents had her committed for observation due to her telling them about vampires and that she was a vampire slayer. When Buffy says this line, wouldn’t Joyce have something to say about it? Wouldn’t it trigger alarm bells for Joyce? I’m sure at the time this episode aired, “Normal Again” wasn’t even thought about, but it still makes for bad continuity.

•    Xander: “You know. It's really better for me if you don't talk.”
Cordy: “Well. It's really better for me with the lights off.”
Xander: “Are you saying you can't look at me when we... whatever we do?”
Cordy: “It's not that I can't. It's more that I... don't want to.”
Xander: “That's great. That's just dandy. We're repulsed by each other. We hide from our friends-"
Cordelia: “I should hope. Please!”
Xander: “All in all, this thing is not what I'd call a self-esteem booster.”
Cordelia: “Tell me about it. I mean, look at you. Where did you get those shoes?”
Xander: “Okay. You know what? I don't need this.”
Cordy: “Ditto. Like a hole in the head.”
*crazy kissing follows*

I am loving these two together as a couple! It’s for all the wrong reasons, but I love them nonetheless. They don’t really fit together well; they do nothing but argue at this point, they have nothing in common except finding each other physically attractive, and yet they’re both raging with hormones. It’s hilarious! They have some sweet moments, but ultimately it all feels a little awkward...in a good way. I laughed so hard at Cordelia’s “It's not that I can't. It's more that I... don't want to.” line! Bitchdelia is a delight. I once heard Jane Espenson say that Cordelia and Anya aren’t mean, they’re just “refreshingly candid”.

•    Did anyone have to do the weird ‘babying an egg’ thing in school? I have, nor will I ever, understand it. Luckily, I never had to partake in this nonsense. What’s the point of it? To teach you responsibility? Couldn’t you just lie to your teacher and buy another egg and pretend it was the same one? That’s not rhetorical. Someone please explain this idiocy in the comments section for me. I understand the crying baby thing a bit more, but this is lunacy!
•    I just re-read that last paragraph...wow. I seem to get passionate - almost emotional, you could say - about egg-sitting, don’t I? Perhaps no Red Bull for me tomorrow.
•    I love that Buffy’s genuinely upset about being a single egg mother. She thinks that this school project is telling her that she’s doomed to be a single mother. Don’t be ridiculous, Buffy, Slayers don’t have children...oh, wait...
•    I’ve noticed that one of season two’s main themes is ‘lust’. Giles and Jenny, Xander and Cordelia, Willow and Oz a little bit, and most of all, Buffy and Angel. While I do adore seeing Buffy and Angel happy for once, their relationship is distracting Buffy from her slaying responsibilities. Instead of patrolling properly, Buffy spends the entire time smooching with Angel. This is all leading to the next episode, “Surprise”, which will be the climax of Buffy and Angel’s relationship for a while (see what I did there, with the ‘climax’? I’m filling your head with spurty knowledge...give yourself 10 points if you get that reference).
•    A whole world of egg names at Buffy’s disposal, and she chooses ‘Eggbert’. I’d have gone with ‘Craig’ (the way Americans say it). These terrible name choices become an unhealthy pattern with Buffy, as she later chooses the name ‘Joan’ for herself in season six’s “Tabula Rasa”.

•    The baby Bezoar prosthetic is not bad at all for the late ‘90s. In a season that produces some terribly unrealistic monsters (Machida, the werewolf costume...), the baby Bezoars get my stamp of approval.
•    Speaking of, that baby Bezoar is so damn creepy! I first saw this episode at nine years old. Safe to say I checked my bedroom thoroughly before going to bed that night. It’s not just the crawling and general ickiness of the Bezoar baby that makes it memorable. One of the most disturbing things that I’ve seen on the show thus far into the reviews is that mini-Bezoar sticking its tentacles into Buffy’s ears and nose. What is this thing and why is it doing that?! Who thought of that? Why would you do this to me, Whedon? Sure Marti Noxon’s name is on the writing credits, but you get final say. This has your stink all over it. Our fear and repulsion makes you grow stronger and more powerful. You just know that as this episode was airing, Joss was sat at home in a rocking chair grinning to himself, thinking of all the people he was traumatising.
•    Xander: “You. Angel. Big. Smoochies.”
     Buffy: “Shut. Up.”

They’ve clearly been spending too much time with Oz. His laconic answers are rubbing off on them. Also, Xander was right.

•    Yes, Xander, boiling your egg IS cheating. However, it is also genius and you should be commended. Even Giles seems mildly impressed with Xander, which is quite the rarity. I was about to say that Xander is oddly intelligent in this episode...then I remembered that he almost ate a baby Bezoar egg.
•    Angel explains to Buffy that he isn’t capable of having children (Connor should get a paternity test and be on ‘The Jeremy Kyle Show’). Ultimately, that’s what this episode is about; the negative consequences of having sex. The problem that I have with this is that it’s so heavy-handed. I feel like I’ve been beaten over the head with it. It lacks the subtlety that “Lie To Me” and “The Dark Age” were able to produce. What message is this episode trying to send out? That sex is bad? I can’t quite figure it all out. The placement of this episode is absolutely perfect though. With Buffy losing her virginity in the next episode, this episode acts as a set-up to “Surprise”, but without giving away that that’s what it’s doing.
•    Buffy: “When I look into the future, all I see is you. All I want is you.”

If I could use two words to describe Buffy and Angel’s relationship in season one and two, they would be “sickeningly cute”. In season three, they have far more substance as a couple, but in season two I sometimes need to reach for the tissues and vomit-bucket simultaneously. In the next episode, however, Angel will be reaching for the tissues for entirely different purposes...sorry, I couldn’t help myself!

•    STAB THAT CREEPY-ASS BABY BEZOAR, BUFFY! STAB IT! STAB IT!
•    This is one of those rare episodes where I really dislike Joyce. She is overly harsh to Buffy with her punishments in this episode. All Buffy did was use the phone and happen to be dressed in the middle of the night. It’s not like she caught her sneaking in, or smoking, or something. What’s wrong with being dressed in the middle of the night?! She could have just not been able to sleep and was trying on outfits for school the next day! Yes, I did use that excuse when sneaking in once. I thought it was genius at the time. However, I get why Joyce is acting the way she is. Buffy was expelled from her last school for burning down the gym! Joyce isn’t aware that Buffy is a vampire slayer at this point. Joyce sees Buffy losing focus and acting suspiciously, so she instantly thinks that Buffy is falling back on bad habits. Her strict punishments in this episode are to try to counteract that. This provides another example of just how hard it is for Buffy to juggle these two lives. She can’t tell her mother what is really going on because it might endanger Joyce in the future. Buffy’s in a lose-lose situation.
•    Willow and Cordelia just knocked out Buffy and Xander! What the hell just happened?!
•    ...Turns out they’re possessed by the ikle Bezoars. So that’s what that Bezoar was trying to do to Buffy before! That makes much more sense than my “it just wanted affection” theory.

•    I had no idea that Giles was being controlled by the Bezoar until he put that baby Bezoar on Joyce. I was genuinely surprised. I literally jumped in shock when Giles pulled that crawling nightmare out of his drawer. Looking back, Giles was acting marginally different in that scene. Very subtly played by Anthony.
•    I’m a big fan of the basement set that is used in this episode. It’s minimalistic to make it realistic, but it’s eye-catching at the same time.
•    Why are the Gorch brothers even in the episode? They serve no purpose whatsoever, but they take up quite a bit of screen time for the episode! I think this episode would have been stronger if the Gorch brothers were removed entirely and the additional screen time was used for furthering the Bezoar story...or giving us a sassy Giles scene. An episode can never have too many of those.
•    Xander: “Owwww! That’s my bump! *punches Cordelia*”

They’ve been romantically linked for two episodes, and Xander has already punched Cordelia! Still, it was absolutely, side-splittingly funny.

•    The shot of Buffy crawling out of the hole in the ground covered in Bezoar goop, is excellent. It’s very iconic. David Greenwalt did a fantastic job of directing this episode. There’s a reason why only Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt remained out of the season one writers. The fact that they’re both great directors too is just a bonus.
•    Joyce is mean in "Bad Eggs"! Between “Ted” and “Bad Eggs” is the only time I can recall where I get seriously grumpy with Joyce. She’s usually such a fantastic mother. Buffy saves everyone’s lives, and she gets punished for it! Of course Joyce doesn’t know that Buffy is the Slayer, but if I were Buffy I’d be seriously pissed off about this entire charade. Come on, Joyce! Pull it together!
•    The episode closes out on a very cute Bangel scene. Technically, Buffy’s not breaking any rules. She is still in her bedroom. Buffy and Angel were far too happy in this episode, which in a Joss Whedon show means that disaster is impending in the next episode. Buckle in, kiddies, this is about to get very emotional.
•    To sum up, this episode was funny, and had some good moments, but it wasn’t overly memorable. The relationship developments for Xander-Cordelia and Buffy-Angel are great, but there is too much filler in this episode. I think there are two main problems:- 1) The Gorch brothers don’t serve a purpose, but take up a lot of screen time for ‘villains-of-the-week’. 2) The ‘sex is bad’ metaphor is too heavy-handed for my liking. I also think that this episode suffers from having to spend a lot of time setting up “Surprise”. It means that there is less time than usual devoted to the story in a standalone episode.


Quote Of The Episode

Xander: “You want to talk negative consequence? How about the heartbreak of halitosis? I mean, a girl may seem spiffy, but if she ignores her flossing the bloom is definitely off the rose.”

Cordelia: “Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the Hoover technique is a big turn-on.”

Xander: “What about having to feign interest in her vapid little chit-chat just to get some touch?”


I don’t know what makes me happier; Cordelia’s look of shock and disgust after Xander’s last line, or Willow’s look of absolute confusion. I can’t...I just can’t...


FINAL SCORE: 3.5/10

So what are your thoughts on "Bad Eggs"? Did you enjoy this episode? Dislike it? Let me know all your thoughts in the comments section below!

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